Grass grows, birds fly, Sun Shines and brotha’: I review things – a Team Fortress 2 review

It’s been a while since my last review, as sadly I have had to concentrate a lot more on college over the past week. However, here I am back again with my next game review – a frankly unique FPS called Team Fortress 2. Unlike most games these days, Team Fortress 2 only features online play, and has no story mode or campaign to speak of. That admittedly makes it a pretty hard game to review – yet unlike the previous game review I actually had great fun this time. So, I’ll give it a shot and we’ll have to see how it turns out!

The TF2 Team in a group photo.

First a little description of how Team Fortress 2 works. It’s a class based First Person Shooter where two teams, RED (Reliable Excavation Demolition) and BLU (Builder’s League United) square off against each other to achieve certain objectives, familiar to anyone who is an FPS veteran. This includes Capture the Flag, King of the Hill, etc.

There are nine classes in total each with their own strengths and weaknesses – Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Demoman, Heavy, Engineer, Sniper, Medic and Spy. Each one has their own unique style of play, and brings a different advantage to the fight.

But, can an fps with purely multiplayer really be that good? Let’s find out.

Plot 3/5

This is probably the hardest section of all to rate for TF2, and I’m still a little unsure even now. As a game with no story mode, I hear you ask, how can I possibly justify not only giving a mark for plot at all, but giving several? Well, despite what I said originally, the creators of Team Fortress 2 do put a lot of effort in to try and bring life to their world. Despite originating as just an fps with unnamed characters, slowly but surely the TF2 world comes to life a little more each day – even though very little of it is actually inside the game itself.

For example, on the Team Fortress website, a large group of comics has been developed which gives a bit more background to just why these teams are so dedicated to bludgeoning each other to death despite the horrific mortality rate. They even gave life to the disembodied female voice that congratulates your team when they accomplish an objective – or scolds you if the opposing team achieves theirs.

These mercenaries will sink to any depths to win.

They also bizarrely include a completely insane weapons manufacturer named Saxton Hale, who appears to consider himself the manliest man in the entire world. This is backed up by some very odd stunts such as jumping out of a plane to go to work every day, and assassinating anyone with more money than him. This is just one example of some of the strange characters that have spawned out of the TF2 universe – despite no reference to them being in the actual game (at least until later patches).

The other reason I chose to give TF2 a decent mark is because while it does try, it doesn’t take itself too seriously. Unlike many online shooters such as Counter-Strike, TF2 doesn’t attempt to be a super-serious game involving incredibly resilient army recruits shooting each other multiple times while the players sit back and say “This is realistic.” Of course what would really happen if any fps was realistic is that, after being shot, your character would go to a military hospital for a month meaning you can’t play for that period of time. After that, you’re left with a permanent limp and weakness in the leg you took the bullet in and… well you get the picture. No fps is ‘realistic’ and I really wish people would stop claiming they are. As such, I have to give points to Team Fortress because not only does it have a sense of humour, it seems to realise that it doesn’t need to have super realistic bullets and explosions to have a market.

Of course despite saying all this, the plot is flawed in a couple of ways – which is why TF2 didn’t score higher. My main criticism is the obvious one, that very little of this background is actually included or referenced in the game. Because of this, I would actually be very surprised if even 50% of the players had any idea about all the effort that some poor sods have put into it. A shame really.

My other criticism is still linked to the one above – because the team are rather limited in the methods of how to get this stuff out there, and its also rather low priority. Therefore, while I can give them points for putting effort in where others most likely wouldn’t, I can’t honestly say the plot is actually something you’re going to think about even when not playing. Or even when playing at all.

So, for a few cheap laughs it’s worth checking out, but that’s about all. Hence, average score, mainly for effort.

Characters 4/5

Ah the characters. Despite all being simply known as their team colour followed by their class (BLU Demoman, RED Spy etc) each character has a surprising amount of personality. It makes quite a change from most of the other online shooters, and games like Halo where a bunch of power armoured mutes run around blowing each other up with no reaction or emotion whatsoever – you’d think they were dancing professional ballet or something rather than fighting for their lives.

That’s not to say that Team Fortress 2 is like actual people fighting for their lives – once again they went for the humorous approach. I have to admit I do think I prefer this idea, as lets face it, you wouldn’t want to shoot an opposing player and have to listen to your medic complain for days about how ‘the killing should stop’. Instead the classes of Team Fortress seem to enjoy their job to an extent that would probably be considered grounds for being sectioned – but I do have to admit some of their lines are pretty funny. There’s something rather gratifying about dominating another sniper, to hear your character say “One sniper to another mate: Give up!”

Each character has their own unique country of origin, background, job description etc that shows even through the things they say while fighting. Much like with the background of the TF2 world, the creators have put a lot of effort into developing their characters outside of the actual game – releasing videos as an interview with most of the classes. This includes Meet the Scout, Meet the Soldier, Meet the Demoman, Meet the Heavy, Meet the Engineer, Meet the Sniper and Meet the Spy. My personal favourite is probably the Spy. Sadly as of yet there is no video for the medic or the pyro, but it has been hinted that these are in the works and will some day soon come to fruition. So for those who haven’t yet played, the medic is a German doctor with a questionable dedication to medical ethics, and the pyro is… hard to explain. The pyro is an illiterate masked pyromaniac, who has so much difficulty in communicating with their team-mates that even their gender is uncertain.

A demoman taunting, you see what he did there?

Still, the characters of Team Fortress 2 are all funny in their own way, which is just backed up by the taunt system. Each character can taunt by pressing a button, and perform an animation to mock the opposing team (though it does leave them defenceless for a few seconds while they perform it). It can be quite amusing to give the enemies death-cam shots of you mocking them, though strangely some people seem to be caused offence. Honestly I’m not entirely sure why.

The only reason I didn’t give the classes a 5 however is because of the nature of the game – while I don’t think they could really be improved in any way, the shallow nature of gameplay makes it hard to develop them. So therefore I couldn’t really give it a perfect score when there are characters like Sephiroth and L sitting around – they are funny, but not as ‘legendary’ as others.

Strangely, there’s also Meet the Sandvich.

Gameplay 5/5

This is where Team Fortress really excels, because the gameplay is just so addictive. As mentioned before, each character has their own style of play to bring to the field ensuring that you will never get bored. Whether you are the type to sneak around invisible and pick off prime targets, a healer to keep your friends alive, or run headlong into the fray with a rocket launcher or a mini-gun, Team Fortress has a class for you. I must admit I much prefer the class system to the one used by games such as Halo, where you find weapons around the map. It’s just so much easier to keep balanced and fair – and you don’t have to facepalm when the super serious player kills you with the rocket launcher that he has been camping the spawn for all game.

The Sniper can unlock a bow and arrow instead of his rifle.

That’s not to say all your weapons are set in stone though – there’s a couple of alternatives to pick from for each class (other than engineer at time of posting, which is to come in a future patch). Most of these alternatives need to be found through getting achievements or pure luck however – a nice addition that means achievement hunters have objectives to fulfil while those that can’t really be bothered don’t have to. These aren’t an ‘upgrade’ either, so not getting them technically won’t put you at a disadvantage to those who do, though admittedly a few of them (mostly the melee weapons) are clearly worth using.

As well as having variety for classes, Team Fortress 2 has variety in game modes and maps too. There’s pretty much all the traditional stuff such as Capture the Flag, Capture Point, and King of the Hill – all of which can be played on both the more popular maps from Team Fortress Classic and new ones original to TF2. Similar to most valve games, there’s a big community of people who their own custom maps, some of which are actually quite good. In fact, one of the community maps was accepted by Valve as a permanent staple due to its popularity, and got added in to the default game edition.

Of course, being the light-hearted game it is, even the weapons that classes have are funny in some way or another. While some are pretty standard (rocket launcher, shotgun) some are fairly bizarre and wacky. For example, one of the optional items for the Heavy is a sandwich (called Sandvich to make fun of his Russian accent) which he eats literally saying “Om nom nom.” There’s a can of soda that makes the Scout temporarily invulnerable – though he can’t attack while under its effects – which if you look closely, states that it contains fatal amounts of radiation. The sniper can equip a jar of his own urine to throw at people, making them take increased damage. You get the picture.

That does lead me to my one and only criticism however, which I hope will get hotfixed fairly soon. That is, the most recent update added weapons for both the Demoman and the Soldier, and I have to admit I find their new gear to be quite a lot stronger than the others. Hopefully only a temporary issue.

Overall the gameplay is excellent. For new players, some classes can be easy to score kills with, and for old veterans you can rack up impressive kill streaks with pretty much anyone. Bordering on perfection!

Graphics 4/5

Again, a very strong score for Team Fortress 2. The graphics reflect how seriously it takes itself very well (I know I know I keep going on about that, but its really the main reason I play – its competitive but amusing at the same time) as they are very ‘cartoony’ rather than trying to look real. It seems to play out like a young teenagers comic book kind of style, some of it ending up being incredibly strange and unexplained. For example, medics can make every shot by a friendly player critically hit for 8 seconds – this is shown when activated by their gun glowing with a huge amount of lightning temporarily. Quite how this works I don’t know, and it sounds to me like it would be incredibly painful to hold, but one thing is for sure: it looks cool, and you certainly know when someone’s been buffed by it.

A Pyro meets an unlucky end to a critical hit.

Despite this however, they do put a lot of effort into making it look decent and certainly don’t take the light-heartedness as an excuse. When eating the sandvich, a bite does actually come out of it, when people are shot blood does actually come out of that area. They even take the kindness of, when you are exploded, labelling your bodily parts in case you didn’t notice (after being hit dead on by a critical rocket, its nice to see the game point out that your pancreas has exited your body). This is actually one of the things I found quite intriguing about the game, that when hit by explosives people actually did explode – unlike in other games where it just tended to cause the physics engine to go crazy. When I first started playing the game I was a little weirded out by the parts flying everywhere, but after a while you become immune to it. This is part of the reason why I sadly couldn’t give full marks to TF2 – as actually the ‘gibbing’ effect sometimes looks a little awkward. This is especially noticeable with the bigger characters (such as the Heavy) as when he explodes, there is clearly a lot less parts than there should be – so it looks a little like the heavy just disappears. Not a big criticism, but still.

I do like the special effects on most of the weapons however – the rockets look pretty cool firing across the map, the explosions look great (especially when coupled with people sent flying into the air) and the bizarre weapons still look great. The medigun (the medic’s ‘weapon’ that shoots a healing beam) looks quite impressive, as does the animation for his invulnerability and critical buffs. The spy’s cigarette actually emits smoke, when fires are put out steam actually rises – you get the idea. The detail is very pleasing.

Overall, it looks great. The fact that it’s cartoony is actually a good way to prevent it looking outdated – as once again (I need to stop saying this) it’s not trying to be serious, and so it’s meant to look a bit silly. Thumbs up for the graphics.

Soundtrack 4/5

Again, a strong score. There isn’t a huge amount of music in TF2 it has to be said – though I think that’s just fine. In most games I play, I expect there to be a fair amount of music (lets face it, in RPG’s like Final Fantasy music can actually make or break the game) but in this case it’s not so important. FPS’s are a lot faster paced, which would mean any music would have to match that – which I think would sound ridiculous. Not only that but, players who play quite seriously (including myself) listen out for certain signals to let you know an enemy is near – whether it be the sound of footsteps approaching or a spy uncloaking, you want to be listening pretty intently.

That’s not to say there isn’t any music at all however. I actually quite like the Team Fortress 2 Theme that plays in the “Meet the Team” videos, which is also on the title screen of the game as well as sampled after a round is over in the game. There are also many other pieces that play at various points, some of which were not even in the game originally. That’s one of the things I really like about the game in fact, that they didn’t just make it and abandon it – it’s been years since its release and yet patches still arrive on a regular basis. Not bad at all for a game that was just a one-off payment.

There are other aspects of the soundtrack I like though. When dominating (or being dominated by) another player, a sound clip plays to let you know that you’re awesome (or that you suck) which lets you know without having to check. It’s quite a small thing, but still a nice addition I think.

Other than that, I can only say the game sounds fantastic. The character sound clips really make it for me, some of them are so funny. I don’t get why I find the Scout saying “I broke your stupid crap, moron!” so funny after he smashes an engineer’s contraptions, but it certainly works somehow. I can’t give it a 5 again because of the lack, but what they do have works amazingly well. Strangely, these character sound clips have become so popular that people have made songs by remixing them. Youtube stuff like “Mortal Kombonk”, it’s really rather strange.

Conclusion 20/25

Let me start the conclusion by saying what I’ve clearly had in my subconscious all along.

I LIKE TEAM FORTRESS 2 BECAUSE IT IS FUNNY AND NOT SERIOUS.

The Heavy is happy with this score!

Yeah I imagine you probably figured that out by now as I went on about it for bloody ages, but still, that’s the main thing I can say about it. You can be the serious Counter-Strike player that’s always the last one on their team to die and just someone out for a few cheap laughs, and Team Fortress will still work for you. There really is no reason to play it. So, why are you reading this review and not playing it? Why am I writing this and not playing it? I have no idea.

But on a more serious note, 20/25 is a good score – far better than FFX-2 for sure. 80% still isn’t all that high I must admit, but to be fair it won’t appeal to everyone. Some people look for engaging plots and complex characters in their games, and it’s true that they would be disappointed. However, if you like online shooters, this one is pretty much perfect and I implore you to get it.

Certainly, this game gets my seal of approval.

Tell me what you like, and I’ll tell you why you’re wrong. Send requests to JudgeReviews@hotmail.co.uk